On The Bright Side – Hive Massacre

Is the Grasp of Malok worth the lives of the countless Hive warriors we have slayed for it? The Galactic Union for Combat Labor certainly doesn’t think so.

The G.U.C.L. Local 77 announced in a statement earlier today that they will no longer be supplying labor to Omnigul for use against guardians in Skywatch. The Union’s employees voted unanimously for the labor strike, citing unsafe working conditions as the primary issue. The hazards to safety and health were described by one Hive Knight as, “Deplorable and excessively dangerous, even for a combat worker.”

A labor strike in Skywatch is not unprecedented, as the G.U.C.L was close to a similar situation in the Fall of 2014 during the Loot Cave debacle. We were able to conduct an interview with a Thrall involved in the Loot Cave massacre, and who now has family members dealing with the Omnigul situation.

Out of respect for his anonymity, we have agreed to refer to him by the codename “Dan” –

Dan, we want to thank you for sitting down with us. Can you explain exactly what is going on in the Skywatch?

“A systematical slaughtering of my hive brethren. That’s what is going on in Skywatch. Guardians are up there right now murdering Hive by the thousands. And for what? One of the most sought after guns in the universe? It’s situations like this where members of the Galactic Union for Combat Labor have to ask ourselves, ‘Are we really the bad guys here?'”

It IS a sweet gun. You have to admit that, right? What do you think led to this situation. Surely, it can’t be placed solely on the Guardians’ shoulders.

“The Grasp has a sweet color scheme, I guess, but does that make it worth all the violence? These guardians act like they have nothing better to do. I don’t blame them entirely, though. The Vanguard deserves some blame as well. How have they let guardians get so bored that murdering poor Hive soldiers for hours on end is an option for entertainment. It seems like the Vanguard should be finding something more important to occupy their super soldier labor force with.”

But Dan, doesn’t the fact that Omnigul won’t back down from this fight play a huge role in how long it has been going on?

“Yes. If Omnigul would have given the guardians what they wanted after fighting them for the 3rd, 4th, or even 100th time, then Hive casualties would be drastically reduced. I think it is a great move by members of the G.U.C.L. to go on strike. It puts the other contractors, such as the Psion Flayer triplets, on notice that the Combat Laborers in this universe will not stand for poor working conditions. We understand what we signed up for when we took this job, and we don’t mind being a meat shield, but watching as the same 3 guardians repeatedly slaughter our friends and coworkers over a piece of gear is ridiculous.”

Does it make you feel better to know that guardians are using this awesome weapon to prove themselves to Lord Shaxx in the Crucible?

“That’s like asking, ‘Does it make you feel better that the guy who stole 15 legendary marks from you used them to buy a sandwich?’ Ya, he used it for a worthy cause, but you’re still 15 legendary marks short of another Special Weapon engram from Xur, and now how are you supposed to get a god roll 1000-Yard Stare?

 I am all for you Tower dwellers beating the crap out of each other, but the end doesn’t justify the means in this situation. It seems like there has to be a more readily available weapon for guardians to use, like the Hung Jury from Dead Orbit. I’ve heard it has a great perk set this week.”

Should the Vanguard be occupying guardians with more meaningful jobs? Should Omnigul stop being so stingy and give the guardians what they want instead of taking a hundred beatings before giving in? Ideally, both, but the Omnigul situation is not an easy one to solve.

by jdeberge
Art by jdeberge

Guardians are notorious for their insatiable appetite for combat and destruction, so it is understandable that the Vanguard is struggling to worthwhile assignments to tide them over.

But, while things seem understandably bleak for the family, friends, and coworkers of Dan the Thrall, there is hope on the horizon; Spring is right around the corner.

Don’t miss the next edition of On The Brightside – We’ll talk to a Tower doctor that claims to have developed an antidote to a poison that has been a real Thorn in our side.

Brent S

When I’m not writing to express the crazy thoughts in my head, I’ll be slaying aliens with the Fireteam One clan.